When my daughter does something new, and no one but me is there, I hold my own hand.

My daughter is about to go to her first swim meet.

For some reason, this fills me with loneliness and anxiety.

I will try to brush these feelings off by writing this post, venting.

I always feel so painfully alone when new milestones appear. Even, when they can be seen in the distance.


Maybe be its my codependency. Each milestone means she is closer and closer to being an adult, being home. I’m closer to being alone.

I dread the parents I will air with today, full of 2-parent cheerleading support teams, coming in fleets of minivans with dollar bills heading towards an oasis of concession stands. I feel feeble, impotent, impossible, in-valid.

Its just stress. But, I need a hand to hold.


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